I’d rather vote for Oscar the Grouch

And no, it’s not a joke. Not in the true sense. Here’s a few reasons why I’d rather vote for Oscar the Grouch:

1. Oscar loves trash and makes no qualms about it. The more trash, the better, as far as he’s concerned.
2. He’s a grouch, but when he’s not we don’t doubt he had a real emotional moment.
3. He engages in subterfuge, but when caught - as he inevitably is - he fesses up and apologizes.
4. We don’t doubt he’s a puppet, with someone else’s hand crammed up his ass, making his lips move.

Explanation of 1: It’s really simple for me: Obama, Clinton, McCain are all interested in keeping America wallowing in a cesspool of its own making. They talk about lessening our carbon footprints, trying to mitigate the impacts of global warming, trying to find logical alternatives to oil. Trying, trying, trying. Hel-fucking-lo. The time for TRYING is PAST! Look, I’m not an end of the world-ist, but reality check people. Crude oil is running out. At best, we might have fifty to a hundred years of accessible crude oil left. And that’s it. No more driving your car, no more electricity for the majority of the US. You think I’m fucking kidding? Okay, why don’t you go learn something instead of spanking the monkey at yutuvu:

What an oil peak means to an American

An article I have thoroughly reviewed for fact checking and found full of information

To be balanced, here’s some buggering bullshit you can run to if you don’t like the other sources

Yeah, Oscar wouldn’t lie to you. He wants us to keep making trash because it makes him ‘rich’ and he’s honest about it. Not our candidates. Neither of their energy plans is worth two shits in trying to mitigate the damage of an oil collapse NOR to aggressively mainstream new energy resources and put environmentally conscious energy plans into action. Oh, they pay all kinds of lip service, but that’s all it is, lip service.

Explanation of 2: Each of the candidates has made an ass of him/herself more than once during this election run. And for all their apologies of ‘incorrect wording’ they don’t fucking mean it. They don’t really mean those oh-so-carefully concocted “I’m sorry’s”. It’s good old fashioned ass kissing of the American public. Do you really think Clinton is regretful of the comments she’s made about Obama? Do you think he’s truly upset that his words about America understanding black anger or implying that rural Americans are a bunch of gun-toting, bible-beating, rednecks pissed some people off? Um, no. I don’t believe his apologies for a second. Nor hers. And I won’t even get started on McCain. Truth be told, John McCain has been through some shit most of us would fucking break under. I’ve got all kinds of respect for him as a human being. But he’s fucking OLD. His mind isn’t what it used to be. And he’s not in touch with the shit that really means something right now, nor would I expect him to be, honestly.

Here’s the thing, I can’t be the only voter in the country who wants someone to be president that doesn’t bullshit me. I’m not interested in the politicking, never have been. I don’t want the wanna-be leaders to kiss my ass and feed me air disguised as a steak. I want to hear them talk shit they can back up. I want Clinton to ask Obama flat out where the hell his hope train is gonna get the country when he’s barely been in office long enough to get a proper bribe from lobbyists. I want Obama to ask Clinton who the hell answered the phone in the White House during the whole Bosnia fiasco, cause it surely wasn’t her husband - like air raids are going to stop genocide. Puh-leese. *If you’d like a look inside that ugliness and the truth about what the ‘peace-keeping’ forces really did, pick up this book. It’s good for more than the war insights, too.* And I want McCain to ask both of them who they think they are trying to run a country they’ve only served as politicians (heavily paid and catered to) but never on the back of a tank or the end of a gun.

I want to see the REAL people, not the facade. It might not get me your vote, but it would go a long way to restoring my faith in our government, which right now is so far below zero as to be nearly absolute loss of belief.

Explanation of 3: Every single politician in America, and probably the world, engages in subterfuge. They take bribes in one form or another. They vote on shit that doesn’t help anyone but corporations and the rich. They pass laws into being that strip my rights from me using false logic and false science. I won’t even get into the whole smoking ban thing - I’m not a smoker, but I am intelligent. There are SO MANY other things that cause people to get sick that there’s no way to scientifically prove that second hand smoke is more harmful than coal burning, vehicle exhaust, herbicide usage, et-fucking-cetera - but it’s a good place to start as far as lying goes. The electrical plants runoff is more harmful to my family than the old guys puffing away on a Lucky Strike at the next table, but that plant gets to purge its noxious waste with near impunity, while old guy is nearly beaten down with bullshit by anti-smoking proponents and their own noxious waste.

So, political subterfuge is part and parcel to the whole politics gig. I don’t like it, it makes me want to scream and beat down some folks of my own to get those asshats running the country FIRED. However, when caught I’d like a candidate that takes it on the damn chin, instead of playing a shell game of disinformation and disingenuous apologies. You fucked up. Admit it, take your penalty like the rest of us would have to, and go the fuck home.

Explanation of 4: The most important reason why I’d vote for Oscar the Grouch. I know he’s a fucking puppet and if I met him, I could clearly see with my own two eyes whose hand was up his ass. I can’t see that as clearly with the candidates. I know they’re all mouth pieces for big business, big insurance, big oil, blah fucking blah. But I can’t clearly ’see’ the body attached to the hand in their asses. I want to. And I want America to as well. I want to know if the person I’m voting in will be puppeted by a devil I can deal with or not.

What I really want is something purely fantastical: I want a complete overhaul of the entire government, from top to bottom and in all three branches. I want all of Congress, all the Supreme Court, all the White House fired - but don’t stop there, take it to the state and local level too. None of them are doing this country the slightest bit of good and if the rest of America would just open their eyes instead of their glutinous mouths, they’d see that truth. We need leaders who aren’t full of shit and taking money, in whatever form, from just about all hands holding cash. We need leaders who KNOW we’re beyond the turn-it-around point with global warming, but who have aggressive plans for mitigating the effect of our consumption on those in America now, as well as future generations. We need leaders who understand that there are countries we have a fundamental and basic disconnect with. And we can either overlook those disconnects or we can divorce ourselves from the relationship - even if that means a sudden and immediate kibosh on cars. We need leaders who think the crazy cost of medical care has to not only stop rising, but be rolled back. That as Americans we should all have the same kind of medical options that fucking Congress has. That medical care is a basic right of humanity, not a get rich and stay rich scheme. We need leaders who think sentencing an eighteen-year old child to fifteen years in prison for smoking dope is disgusting. Basically, we need leaders that think - Not puppets with greedy paws shoved up their ass so far that when they lick their lips they taste boogers.

Next blog: Oil - I’d rather have plastic than gasoline.